To Thine Own Self Be True
The Truth. Truth is really tough. We’ve been talking a lot recently about what is true, what is a fact and what is not, and how to tell the two apart. Social media increasingly asks us to question ideas about what is “true.” Uncountable ads and endless media images tell us what to think about ourselves, others, the world… the list (and the scrolling) is endless. The antidote? Some healthy subjectivity.
Subjectivity is key. Being able to look from the outside without judgment of ourselves (or others) is key. Being able to recognize how others see us and separate these “truths” from our own is imperative to being a happy, healthy person (and artist). Now, let’s be SUPER clear: no one said that this is easy--it’s hard. Subjectivity is tough to learn. It takes practice. It takes some time. It takes a lot of love and persistence. It takes being yourself and knowing that you have something unique to offer just by being... yourself.
“ The formula of happiness and success is just being actually yourself,
in the most vivid way you can. ”
- MERYL STREEP
“ I believe that the privilege of a lifetime is being who you are,
truly being who you are. ”
- VIOLA DAVIS
The truth is: There is one of you, and then there is everyone else who is not you. Only you can be you. You cannot be someone else. Though it may feel that all signs are signalling in the opposing direction, the world actually wants you to be you.
The fact is: What you have to offer that is magical, special, entrancing, and necessary... is you. Really you, not the version of you that you desire to be or intend to show others. The real you; the authentic self; the unadjusted, unaffected you--that is what people love and want to see.
Subjectivity tells us: To compare ourselves to others’ successes, abilities, or joys is to be the thief of our own successes, abilities, and joys. What I have to offer that is most unique is what only I can offer; and if I offer that up, then I cannot be “wrong” or “bad” or “less than.” I can only be me. And there’s NOTHING wrong with that.
[[ TO HOLD AS ’TWERE THE MIRROR UP TO NATURE ]]
To me, the most fun aspect of our artform--this electric, ancient thing called the Theatre--is that we create reality that is not real, with real people, in front of other real people. We play and fantasize, imagining a character and a world, and invoking the unknowable to demonstrate what we all know: the human experience. What I bring to that experience is not what you bring. How I say those words cannot be how you say them.
“ What makes you different or weird, that’s your strength. ”
- MERYL STREEP
“ You cannot live to please everyone else.
You have to edify, educate, and fulfill your own dreams and destiny. ”
- VIOLA DAVIS
To hold the mirror up to nature is not to adjust ourselves to reflect something we think is more real or more accurate than ourselves. Instead, it is to bring our intrinsic quirks and our distinct point of view to the surface in order to reflect it only as we can see it. After all, only I can do it like this...
A friend of mine once had an acting teacher who taught her, before doing a piece aloud in an audition room, to say in her head to herself (very dramatically like an old 1940s Hollywood starlet, of course): “It goes like THIS!” A quick, perfect little internal reminder that checks in and says, ‘Don’t throw this away, don’t do it that way (whatever that is)--do it YOUR way, because only YOU can do that.’ Try very hard to escape the impulse to do it like you should. The fun is in doing it like you WANT.
“ Put blinders onto those things that conspire to hold you back,
especially the ones in your own head. ”
- MERYL STREEP
“ I don’t have any time to stay up all night worrying
about what someone who doesn’t love me has to say about me. ”
- VIOLA DAVIS
To do something like someone else is to lessen our own abilities and to stop believing in our own power. And that message isn’t just sent outward, it is internalized; we then see ourselves that way and begin to believe these “truths” too. Now, I don’t know about you, but I (like Viola) don’t have time for that. Afterall, it’s just an opinion. We all have them and they are… subjective. They do not prove or remove inherent value. You have value. Your work has value.
// SHALL I COMPARE THEE TO A SUMMER’S DAY?
THOU ART MORE LOVELY AND MORE TEMPERATE. \\
Success is subjective too. What I want and what you want might not be the same, yet it can be so easy to feel sad or defeated when we see others achieving or experiencing joy. But as we now know--thank you, Queen Meryl and Queen Viola--they are not you. Joy is not limited. Success isn’t only for some, but not for others.
To hold others up, to celebrate not just our own victories, makes us good people and good artists. These people are your colleagues, they are your future collaborators and you want them to be there to celebrate you--whether in the present or the future. Any artistic success is a success in a world that doesn’t always value artists and what we create. Don’t devalue yourself or someone else--let that dangerous game be played by someone else.
“ True freedom is understanding that we have a choice
in who and what we allow to have power over us. ”
- MERYL STREEP
“ Your ability to adapt to failure and navigate your way out of it
absolutely 100% makes you who you are. ”
- VIOLA DAVIS
Both rejection and others' opinions about you and your work are to be expected. They are par for the course in this subjective world. THESE THINGS DO NOT LESSEN YOUR VALUE, OR YOUR TALENT, OR YOUR ABILITIES, OR YOUR LOVE FOR THIS CRAFT, OR YOUR CAPACITY TO IMPROVE, OR….. You get it?
I am 32 years old and if I have learned one thing it is that we are, all of us, always becoming. We never “arrive.” It is never done. The work is endless: loving yourself, training to become better, striving for bigger opportunities that stretch and excite us, hurting others and hurting ourselves... There is no perfection. There is no moment of success or joy that will lead you to believe that you are indeed, now, “an Actor” (with a capital A, of course). No one is bigger or better than you. You are where you are and you can only move forward. Keep moving forward. Keep marching. The world needs you. YOU.
Remember the facts. Try to seek out the truth--the real truthy Truth. Practice subjectivity and when in doubt, remind yourself: I AM ENOUGH. Just as I am. And there is only one of me. How totally wild and exciting is that!
Today’s conversation has been made possible by the friendly *unofficial* support of: Shakespeare, Meryl Streep, and Viola Davis. Here’s one more for the road…
“ All dreams are within reach.
All you have to do is keep moving towards them. ”
- VIOLA DAVIS
